Help me define Mania

I'm relatively new to the understanding that I have issues that require medication to regulate. I have always had a "short fuse" and have a tendency to bite peoples heads off when they irritate me. I think everything is stupid and can't hold a job for longer than 8 months before I get irritated with it and move on to something else. I have had 7 jobs in 7 years including a 3 year stint in the Air Force. I have moved 16 times in 7 years because a change of environment will snap me out of depressive cycle and send me into a what I think is a manic cycle, which I am more ok with. (I'd rather be an asshole than be depressed) I am a nice guy but I want everyone to think I'm an asshole so that when I get onto my elevated mood cycle people don't get hurt.

I don't really have any experience in trying to make sense out of all of this, so confused... and this is coming from a guy who thinks he's smarter than everyone else.

"and this is coming from a guy who thinks he's smarter than everyone else."

When I'm manic I think I'm smarter than everyone else too. Grandiosity is a symptom of mania. When I get manic (if that ever happens again) I think that I am some kind of genius or wizard. Right now I am in a depressive cycle and find it hard to even think. Manias can be dangerous and even life threatening. Take care.

What are the specific symptoms you have when you are in (what you said you think is) a manic episode? Maybe if you can help us there, we can help you figure some stuff out. I would still highly recommend you see a psychiatrist if your behavior/symptoms are concerning you. The worst thing you can do is continue the way you are...

Here is a list of things people are telling me points towards Bi-Polar

-I have limited amounts of patience
-short tempered
-I think I am better and smarter than everyone else
-I think everything is stupid all the time
-After working at a job for a couple of months I get pissed off at situations and people and then just blow up and quit
-I verbally threaten to blow things up (while I have no intention of doing so, that phrase escapes my mouth from time to time.)
-When I am in one place for an extended amount of time (8-12 months) I get agitated and pack up and leave
-When I start a new job I instantly work my ass off to be the absolute best, and to make my numbers better than everyone else's within the first few weeks of working there... Then i get bored and pissy

Oh... you know, sometimes I feel pretty invincible and while I would never actually commit suicide (i've thought about it extensively and decided it's just not how I wanna go out) I do things that are inherently dangerous and escape unscathed most of the time while i'm in my "natural high"

The last post about doing inherently dangerous things does sound a little like how I get when I'm manic sometimes...I have threatened to jump out of windows (and I was so insanely miserable the day I was diagnosed (I have co-morbid anxiety as well, and was facing a difficult situation), that I swore if my pdoc didn't let me have my first dose of Lithium early, I was going to throw myself in front of a truck.

I would say it sounds like mania, but only a psychiatrist can tell you for sure- I would see one...ASAP.

My PCP has me on zoloft because I only told her about the depression... I had no idea that the other end of the spectrum was "mania" i thought it was normal because that's just me... then I read that Zoloft can intensify the mania and I thought to myself, it seems like a good way to find out if I'm bi-polar or not.

Hi Hidrok. What you're describing is classic bipolar. I too have moved a lot but did it when I was manic. That made me even more high. Generally when I'm manic I'll be extremely irritated and think about chopping off people's limbs. I'll laugh about those thoughts. Yes I've quit jobs from that irritation. I'll also go to the bar a lot more and hang out with random guys I meet and end up sleeping with them. I used to dress up gothic and write a lot of poety. Thank God all of that is BEHIND me. Maybe the Zoloft is making your mood cycle more. Antidepressants can throw a bipolar person into mania and cause mixed states. You can also be extremely depressed while on an anti-d. My advice is to ask for a mood stabilizer. Draw a graph of your moods over the years and bring it to your doctor. Tell them about the irritability and moving. Because BP is underdiagnosed you have to tell the Dr. about all the weird feelings and actions you've gone through. Otherwise, they can easily just misdiagnose you as depressed. There are some good books on Amazon about this. You might want to look. I like "the bipolar disorder survival guide". Good luck and keep asking questions on here.

Ok, what you described is pretty close to how I have been. I just recently lost my job just like I have lost most of them because I can't get along with people at my jobs for snapping at people, passive aggressiveness. But, I am actually better than I used to be since being on meds. My record for holding a job used to be a few months, now it is about 1-2 years. Also, I used to think I was the best **** the employer could ever have and that I really knew my stuff....nobody knew as much about ***** as I did....no body was as good as me. I used to try to teach my co-workers stuff; I didn't understand why they would be offended and get very defensive with me.
Since I have had BP Type 1 for most of my life, my family learned to deal with my snappiness/ easily angered/argumentative/gonna show you attitude. I was diagnosed 2006 and I'm still trying to make sense of it all. Recently, I have figured out that I have not been in control as well as I thought and there are things that can be done to curb some of the behavioural/communication problems. I have been going through this BP workbook called "The Bipolar Workbook" by Monica Ramirez Basco, PhD. It's helping me. I got it for $14 through Amazon books.

Sounds like you need to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible. The Zoloft will definately throw you into mania from what you have been describing. When I was in full blown mania, I was doing all kinds of crazy stuff, stuff I don't even remember since it's all kind of a blur. I'm still paying off 40 grand for one of those endeavors.

Damn guys, thats a wake up call for me... both of you pretty much pegged exactly how I feel and my issues. I really don't understand the mania side of it that well, because I tend to like the things that are usually associated with it from what I gather. I really want more than anything to just be able to hold one job, live one place, and be happy with one person, for the rest of my life. All of a sudden that goal seems really unattainable...

So my next question is, I have yet to see a psych (is that what you guys call pdoc's?) and I am currently going through my primary care provider who is a physicians assistant. I will call tomorrow and have them refer me to a psych who can probably work out a prescription plan with me.

But I have a couple more questions for you guys:
1. I am very wary of drugs like depakote and lithium... is this reasonable fear?
2. Underdog, how do you like the Trileptal as a mood stabilizer?
3. I have a gigantic ego and I feel like a failure for not being able to have a better handle on myself, much of this is due to the fact that my family does not believe in psycho-social disorders for the most part. To them I am a normal human being and should be able to control my impulses without medication. Does this situation apply to anyone else, and can anyone provide me some insight?

Just a quick q? You don't really talk much about having depressive episodes, so are they something that come along?

A lot of what you said also sounds like severe adhd, and its possible to have both. I do but I have the drifty absentminded kind

my severely adhd hub, did all the young dumb and full of ...well, you know. He enlisted in the marines at 18 and was a force recon marine, jumped out of airplanes and helicopters/ rappelled out of copters, scuba dives, drove a motorcycle, worked as a part time deputy (gun, cruiser and all) and went to college all at the same time. the more dangerous the better he liked it.
somehow he managed to keep a career in the army (he changed over to army rotc in college) but you know everything changes all the time, jumping out your a$$ to get stuff done yesterday. a lot of high charge activity. and yes, I got him the tshirt that says 'if I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong'.

he's been moody, hard to be around, always knows whats right, even if its not and he can 'discuss' things with you til you back down out of frustration. his moods change on a dime too. you'd think someone would dx him bipolar! but so far he's adhd, ptsd and depression. cops and soldiers see a lot of stuff.

you're already doing the best thing which is seeing the doc and yeah, seems easier to write pdoc than psychiatrist each time. look at the criteria too, to see what you recognize, there's lots of info websites you can look at too.

for me, mania was I was smarter, more desireable, funny, I could 'fix' everyone I knew, I was the go to person for everyone with a problem and I get really hypersexual when I'm in that place. as a teen it was random guys, I've had one internet relationship and one shortlived badly ended affair since I've been married, almost 25 yrs. the actual affair wasn't worth it.

It's hard to explain, yeah I def. have depressive episodes, a lot of stress and feelings of worthlessness in between my manic phases. My manic seems to set me up for my depressive, the higher I get the further I fall kind of thing... right now I'm in a depressive episode which was bad before Zoloft. Now i'm doing better, but after being on here today I am very concerned about my mania, which I hadn't even considered a problem until this morning. And yes there is some ADHD mixed in, the Air Force diagnosed me with it and attempted to treat me for it, but I wouldn't take the pills because it took the edge off my senses.

Oh that was the other thing... To me life is only worth living because of the highs... it's what helps get me through the lows... I am concerned that if I try to be baseline all the time I am going to get bored with life... not to say that I would commit suicide or anything, but I would feel like my quality of life would suffer because of the meds. Opinions?

Hydrok: I personally love Lithium (been on it since 11/30/2010) and it has done wonders for my mania- depression, not so much, but definitely mania.
Watch out for Zoloft & Prozac- those are clinically proven to set off mania and I have to stay away from them, because they REALLY aggravated my manic phase when I was diagnosed.

As far as the family not believing in mental illness, welcome to my life. I live with my parents while I finish up school and they have NO belief whatsoever of mental illness, and being a diagnosed Bpiolar, yeah, I hae to explain and excuse away the crazies and hide my medication, and with no health insurance, pay for my psychiatrist, meds, and therapy out of pocket. It's great.....

Ok Hydrok, I have never taken depakote or lithium. I was started on Tegretol in July, 2006. I remember so vividly three weeks later I am sitting outside and I had only 'one single thought' in my brain for the first time in my life. It was 'the ground sure is dry, we need some rain'. This was so incredibly wonderful for me. I never in my life before this was capable of having one single thought. People with BP often decribe this differently, but I describe it as having waves of different thoughts, unrelated, from start to finish on some stuff, all at the same time. I still goosebumps and get emotional thinking about that one single thought. I never knew how fast and in overdrive my brain was going until this moment. So, Tegretol worked beautifully for me. I stayed on this med for 4 years until I developed tinnitus and had to be switched to Trileptal which is the exact same drug without the benzene ring attached which causes the tinnitus. I have not had what I would call any problematic side effects with either of them except for the tinnitus. The only thing is is when I started the Tegretol and also when changing to the Trilieptal, I got sort of dizzy/lightheaded/feeling high for up to a couple of hours after taking. But, this goes away eventually for me.
The thing is with psych meds, they all have side effects. Some side effects will become not as noticible or go away the longer they are taken or maybe some don't go away at all and the med has to be changed. It's sort of a crapshoot. If you are diagnosed with BP by a psychiatrist, you will be on mood stabilizers such as Depakote, Lithium, Abilify, Tegretol, etc. for the rest of your life and possibly an anti-depressant or ant-anxiety meds too. Just all depends on what the pdoc suggests/prescribes and what works for you. Best to wait about 3 months before deciding if it works or not though, unless having serious side effects, since it takes that much time for the med to start fully working in your brain cells.
Go to a Barnes n Noble or Borders book store and check out the Bipolar books/workbooks; you can get more insight on this stuff.
I used to have so much pride in being extremely physically fit, strong, no medical problems, feel like I could do anything I wanted physically or mentally. I was a health nut too. I tried and tried to change the way I behaved with people/animals/attitude/cynicism and always failed. I knew something was seriously wrong with me but I did not know what. If I only was receptive to the idea that I may be bipolar since my brother and my father were both diagnosed with bipolar, I could have gotten help earlier than I did. Being diagnosed with something that won't ever go away and you will be forced to accept and learn to deal with for the rest of you life is a real big kick to the ego and pride. It was for me. But, now I am very grateful there are medications for this along with other stuff we can do for ourselves. I am also grateful for our medical community having a diagnosis for this problem and a society becoming aware of it and hopefully later not so critical. I apologize for this being so long. I hope this helps and good luck. Do whatever you can to learn about it, ways of dealing with it such as workbooks, therapy, (I think its called) Dialectical Behavioural Training an ealier poster suggested, etc.

Thank you so much... I don't know if I can tell you how much that post helped me.

It's only been a week since I started zoloft, my mood got progressively better, yesterday evening I thought it was perfect, this morning I thought it was perfect, but this afternoon I am like king #@$%&* of toilet island... I called my PCP office and told them what was happening, they told me they would get back to me ASAP.

Check this out!!! Mind you I am like super happy, goofy, and just had some amazing sex, I'm high as a kite and I don't wanna come down... but deep down I know I have to.

Here is my updated chart

Hi Hydrok,

Did you say how old you are? And what is your sleep like?

The reason I ask is b/c I was finally dx'd w/Bipolar Type 1 a little over a year ago & I'm 44 now. Like you I mostly experienced mania, but I was probably in denial about having some depressive episodes. Occasionally I would sleep for up to 3days in a row & when I got up & went out I'd already be manic again. MY cycle was to be up for 2days then rest for a whole day. I stayed away from drugs & alcohol from 16 to 30 b/c I definitely knew something was different about me ~ it was all to easy to self medicate.

Depression is what finally brought me to my knees, for once I went to the psych ward instead of jail! Haven't had an honest job since '07: I stopped construction, worked security at shows & bounced at bars where I lived in Oakland, CA. & sometimes S.F. I'm a short white guy & did these things despite college degrees b/c it was always exciting...Of course like you said I'm not the type to KILL myself either, but I didn't care about being in very dangerous situations - everything was boring & I had nothing to live for OR I should say no inspiration.

I did enjoy the 3 to 5 mos of the year that I lived on a pot farm near Lake Tahoe the past 2yrs. However weed was only a temporary solution for me & I ended up getting crazy spending too much time alone at the cabin.

My sisters & my parents are Dr's. They all believe I have ADHD, but are split about the whole mood disorder thing. Some think its drug induced. The reason I don't believe that is b/c like somebody has already said when I was put on Depakote there was the immediate effect of my brain slowing down for the 1st time in over a decade. That's what sold me on the dx & for once I began to take Dr's advice & be honest w/them.

Like Valtrate, I recommend the bipolar survival guide ~ mine is from 2000 but I've found it most useful in overall understanding of bipolar.

I sure hope you don't have to go through ALL the s*%t I did before investigating further. My condition escalated rapidly after my 20's & I caused HUGE amount of wreckage.

Good Luck

I'm 24, when I'm elevated I sleep for about 4-6 hours every night, when I am depressed I sleep for 12 hours every other night

@Hydrok are you related to my boyfriend because your description of mania sounds like him to a tee. (He refuses to go to a doc so I guess we'll never really know
My mania is...
~trying to sleep through racy brain. as most of you know that doesn't work so much
~starting projects and never finish them
~washing the dishes and then go off on a cleaning tangent from one area to the next this can go on for hours on end
~talking to myself constantly
~being loud or acting obnoxious
~thinking everyone is staring at me and wanting to beat the crap out of all of them
~hyper-sexuality
~extremely short fused, I will go ballistic over a pin drop (I never get physically violent with others, just myself) the thought of harming another living being sickens me
~sounds irritate me or hurt my ears not all sounds but certain ones will get in my ears and I can't think straight or get "away" from that sound
~when I'm manic and feeling angry I do not want people around me. They just seem to make me feel worse. I want to be left alone until the anger cools down
~I want to move to another state because I'm aggravated, hate everyone, or just think ahh I'll feel better if I weren't here kind of thing
~I have come eerily close to hopping over reality into the fantasy side (that is scary)
~In order to calm myself sometimes I will sing a tune to myself and rock gently back and forth. (I know that sounds crazy) I don't do that in public. The only person who may see me do that is my BF and he just goes about his business but sometimes he looks at me like I'm f*** nuts.

it's not easy for guys like us to get help... hell, I didn't get what I wanted when I wanted it so I pretty much gave up on psychs until I have a little more time in at work and can take some time off

Yes that is true if your new at a job or maybe haven't been there quite long enough and you have a family to take care of it's not real easy to take care of yourself or take the time away. And that is when things slowly get worse. You can feel the train coming but you can't quite tell when the wreck will happen.

Tell me about the guys like us thing. OMG! He's such a manly man heaven forbid he'd try and do something for him. He is so "happy" in the state he is in he doesn't feel it is necessary to seek help even when he's in his depressed state. I feel like I'm looking in an effing mirror if I never saw a doc. I think I'd be extremely violent though. He only gets violent when he medicates with alcohol and he has never been physically violent towards me. Just one time and it would be over. Been there with someone else will never go through it again.

Sorry for the derail off topic. Bumpity bump ;-)