It's been so long since I posted. For many years I suffered from treat resistant bipolar depression. Doctors kept piling on more and more drugs on me and none of them worked. One night two years ago, I was rapid cycling from manic to depressed and went to the ER I was so desperate. That led to an inpatient stay where they determined that I had SAD as well as bipolar disorder. Since I've been using the sun lamp, I have had very few issues. They also put me on Tegratol which stopped all mania.
I'm in a good place right now. I'm really mature being stable but I feel boring. I don't do any of the crazy fun stuff I used to do. I stay in on Saturday nights even:/ I miss the mania so bad.
So now my psychiatrist is taking me off of Lamictal because I am on so many drugs that he feels are unnecessary. He dropped my dose from 200mg to 150mg. Annnddd I had two days of hypomania last week! It was really mild, but I felt alive again. I got so much work done and felt motivated. I was the life of the party, I loved feeling like my old self. I really don't want to tell my doctor. I am going to monitor myself, but I want to feel again. I know if I start making bad decisions I will have to tell him, but I just want to enjoy it.
Has anyone purposefully his mania from their doctor? How did it turn out? Advice anyone?
Current medications as of 11-19-2017
03-01-2010 - Present: |
Ritalin, 5mg. twice a day |
05-29-2013 - Present: |
Geodon, 160 mg. once at night |
06-18-2014 - Present: |
Effexor, 150 mg. Once at night |
08-13-2014 - Present: |
Neurontin, 800 mg. 4x a day |
05-10-2015 - Present: |
Lamictal, 150 mg. once at night |
10-04-2015 - Present: |
Tegetrol, 200 mg. with dinner |
10-18-2017 - Present: |
Ativan, 0.5 mg. as needed |
Joined: 04-25-2010